


Trouble in Paradise

by eunkwangeee



Category: BTOB
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-28 05:36:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15041909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eunkwangeee/pseuds/eunkwangeee
Summary: Sungjae is generally a good-hearted person, so he doesn't understand how and why all of these feelings started eating him up. It's making him confused and frustrated and slightly angry. He thinks it started a week ago, when a certain hyung of his was innocently playing with his co-member.





	1. CHAPTER ONE

**Author's Note:**

> altering realities lmao. sorry for grammar mistakes and bad comma placements. i wrote this before i went to bed.

Sungjae knows deep in his heart that he is a good man. He is understanding and he always tries to see the good in every situation. He never gets angry easily. He is a calm and collected type of guy. Many of his colleagues and close friends can attest to that. When there is a misunderstanding going on, he usually just stays silent in a corner, carefully assessing the situation while trying to think how he should deliver his thoughts properly without unintentionally hurting anyone. He likes his surroundings peaceful and tranquil.  
  
Sungjae is also very friendly and fond of meeting new people from different walks of life. He believes that he can socialize with people from all ages, be it a one-year-old baby or an old lady selling roasted sweet potatoes on the streets. He is also a generous friend, if he may add. When his friends are in need of help, all they have to do is give him a call, and he will do anything to help them for as long as he can provide. When he was young, his mother told him to never be self-centered and to always share his blessings to other people in need. From a kid's point of view, that advice seemed harmless, so he listened well to his mom. Now that he's grown up, he still reckons that sharing your blessings is the right thing to do.  
  
Sungjae is generally a good-hearted person, so he doesn't understand how and why all of these feelings started eating him up. It's making him confused and frustrated and slightly angry. He thinks it started a week ago, when a certain hyung of his was innocently playing with his co-member.  
  
_Changsub was playing with Peniel's hair. It was starting to grow again and the older thought that rubbing his hand against Peniel's head was a good idea._  
  
_"Changsub hyung!" Peniel whined while trying to remove the annoying hand out of his head. "Stop doing that! My head feels numb already!"_  
  
_"But it feels good against my hand!" Changsub retorted, still rubbing his left hand on the poor boy's head. "Our baby baldie Peuni, you have such a beautiful head."_  
  
_Sungjae was just silently watching the two, finding the situation quite hilarious. Peniel looked like he's ready to detach his head from his body just so he could get away from the older's hands. It's a fact among them that when Changsub decided to play with you, he would really suck the energy out of you until you gave up. Only Sungjae could match, or maybe even surpass, the older's playful energy. Only he can make Changsub give up on his own game. He is proud of that and he doesn't even know why._  
  
_"Peniel, you know how much I love your bald head, right?" he heard Changsub's cheery voice again. He was now leaning his face towards Peniel's head. "You didn't know? Here, let me kiss it so now you know."_  
  
_Sungjae's eyes narrowed when he saw Changsub kiss Peniel's head while the younger was screaming in disgust because of the contact. It was just a simple peck, really. Nothing sexual about it either. It was just an innocent and playful friendly kiss on the head. So Sungjae didn't know why he felt that way. He didn't realize that he was glaring at Changsub, hands balled into fists, while his back suddenly became rigid._  
  
_He believed that this is where it all started. This particular moment awakened a side of Sungjae he wished he didn't have._  
  
_"Changsub hyung!"_  
  
_He didn't intend to yell so loud that the whole waiting room would hear his voice and turned their heads toward him, really. It was completely unintentional, or that's what he wanted to believe. He ignored the questioning gazes their coordi noonas and managers gave him. Changsub looked up at him, his lips stopping midway from kissing Peniel's head again, with a curious knot on his forehead._  
  
_"Yes, Sungjae?" Changsub gave him a puzzled look. "Do you need anything?"_  
  
_Sungjae felt beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Shit. He's caught off guard with his own actions. Just what the hell should he tell Changsub now? He looked around him to find something, just one thing that he could use as an excuse, so he wouldn't look like a fool yelling someone's name without any reason at all._  
  
_He saw one of their coordis sipping a cold cup of Americano._  
  
_"I-I'm thirsty!" he stuttered, but he continued making lies nevertheless. "Let's go and get something to drink outside."_  
  
_Sungjae didn't know what happened but his excuse worked. Changsub immediately stood up from his seat, finally letting go of Peniel's abused head (they all saw the relief in his face as soon as Changsub left his side) and made his way in front of Sungjae._  
  
_"Let's go." Changsub offered his hand to help Sungjae stand up while smiling softly at him. "You should've told me sooner. I was thirsty, too."_  
  
_He hesitantly grabbed the older's hand as he tried to stand up from his seat, feeling all shy now. Seriously, he was just playing it cool now but deep inside he's embarrassed as hell. Changsub patted his shoulder as he made their way outside._  
  
_"What do you want to drink, Sungjae?" Changsub asked him, one hand wounding around his arm naturally._  
  
_"Americano." He glanced at the older quickly, finding the older nodding his head to him approvingly. "What?"_  
  
_"Ah, I taught you well." Changsub was smiling at him like he was some kind of a proud father or something. "It should only be Americano, of course. Let's head to Starbucks, then."_  
  
_That was the time he felt himself relax again. Changsub was standing by his side, telling him funny stories about his mom scolding him because he was talking about her on national television again. He found himself laughing at Changsub's every word, every hand movement, and every silly face he made. He was always delighted whenever they were together like this._  
  
Again, Sungjae likes to believe that he is a good and generous man. But he thinks that he maybe overestimated himself a bit. If he really is a good man, why oh why did he feel like he doesn't want to share Changsub to Peniel that time? Peniel wasn't even doing anything wrong. He instantly felt bad. Since when did he become selfish? Since when did he want Changsub's hugs and kisses all to himself? He knows it's inappropriate to feel this way. Maybe this is just a one time thing. Who knows? He'll just try to manage his emotions thoroughly next time.  
  
This can't possibly get worse, right?

***

It's getting worse.  
  
Apparently, Sungjae is really doing a poor job in controlling his emotions. The feeling of selfishness gets stronger as days pass by. Most of the time, he doesn't do anything about what he feels and just let it consume the hell out of him. All he does is glare or scoff bitterly at Changsub whenever the older goes a little touchy with other people. He can't do anything about it because that's Changsub's real personality. He's playful and touchy and will be all over you if he wants to. Sungjae experiences it from time to time, too. He may not show it to the older but he likes it when it happens. His only problem is that he only wants Changsub to be touchy to him and him only.  
  
Which is totally impossible.  
  
There are times when Sungjae can't help himself but be ruled over by his jealousy. What he'll do is just grab the older away and pretend to be hungry or thirsty or bored or sleepy, anything! He will use anything just to have Changsub's full attention to be focused on him. The older may or may not have given him an inquisitive look or two because of that. It's selfish, he's fully aware of that, but often times he just really can't manage himself. He thought he should let himself get checked. Maybe he just lost a few screws on his head.  
  
"Sungjae hyung!"  
  
He felt arms wrapped around his body and that's when he knew he's spacing out again. He glances at Seonho who is sitting beside him while hugging him sideways. They are live now via V App from Guam so they could update fans their whereabouts. They're here to shoot an advertisement and a couple of magazine covers. Seonho is a cute and clingy guyㅡ he kind of sees himself in him a bitㅡ those times when he was younger and all he did was cling to his hyungs. But looking at them now, he's the one who needs to act as an older brother between the two of them.  
  
"Maybe I should hug Ilhoon hyung like this too." He heard Seonho suggested as the boy leaned his head on Sungjae's shoulder. "What do you think, Sungjae hyung?"  
  
"Ilhoon hyung?" Sungjae let out a laugh. "Ilhoon hyung doesn't like skinship. Peniel hyung, too. They will get away from you if you hug them. Like this." He hesitantly unwrapped the younger boys arm around him and gave him a polite smile. They both chuckled at the action. "It's true. You have to get close to them first so you can hug them freely. But you're cute so I think you can get away with it."  
  
"Really?" Seonho gives him a grin. "Then what about Changsub hyung? Will he like it if I hug him? Does he like skinship?"  
  
Sungjae didn't expect that. He didn't expect that at all. He visibly froze on the spot. His hand promptly rose up to the side of his neck, brushing the invisible itch he's feeling there. His eyes are looking at the laptop screen in front of them, unable to let a sensible answer come out of his mouth. The familiar feeling of possessiveness is creeping up to his chest again, making him tensed and speechless.  
  
"Uhm, C-Changsub hyung..." He's stuttering for all their viewers to see. He takes a glance at Seonho and saw him waiting patiently for his answer. "I d-don't know..."  
  
_Liar!_ He knows. Of course he knows. He knew what's the answer even before Seonho asked him that question. He knows that Changsub fucking likes skinships. He knows Changsub enjoys giving affection. He knows Changsub loves receiving them, too. It was no secret to the world that Changsub will likely be more than willing to let Seonho hug him, and he will also gladly return the hug. That's how it works and Sungjae is just too insecure to let the younger know all about this.  
  
The silence is beginning to feel awkward and he's still not giving Seonho a proper answer so they can now close the topic. The staffs around them are now giving him worried looks. He stares blankly at the laptop screen once again. Maybe he should just pretend that the cold wind made him freeze to death so they can end the live stream already. Then he saw a comment that can possibly save him from this hell of a situation.  
  
_I heard that Seonho likes BTOB's Someday!_  
  
"So," Sungjae finally found his voice and decided to ask. "Do you really like our song Someday?"  
  
There's a mini-second pause, and then Seonho is back at his talkative self once more. Did he knowingly ignore Sungjae's obvious way of changing the topic or he's just too eager to answer the question? Sungjae opted not to know. He's just glad that they're not talking about Lee Changsub anymore.  
  
"I really like Someday! It's such a marvelous song that I can't help but to keep on listening to! The vocals go well together with the rap..."  
  
Sungjae can only hear Seonho's voice faintly now as he once again reprimands himself because of his actions. _Really now, Yook Sungjae?_ First, he didn't want to share Changsub to his bandmates. And then now, he doesn't even wanna share the older to their company labelmates? Did he just make an innocent guy who just wants to have a reliable older brother lost his chance of meeting one? This is getting ridiculous, he thought. He almost looked like a fool on their live streaming now because he got scared that Changsub will ditch him for Seonho once he meet the younger. He's so pathetic. He's starting to hate himself for feeling this way.  
  
He should stop this madness now.

***

So, stopping this madness is actually a real pain in the ass. Sungjae thought avoiding Changsub is the solution to his problem. Whenever he senses that the older will try to go near him, he will pretend that he forgot something on the other room, or he will pretend that there is someone calling him and will quietly leave the vicinity, or he will pretend that he's busy reading his script of Goblin eventhough he had already memorized his lines a long time ago. He will always pretend. Often times he felt relieved, but most of the time he wanted to stab himself in the eyes because whenever he does any of that, Changsub's smile will falter and will turn into a crestfallen frown. He hates seeing the downcast look on the other's face but he still keeps on doing his stint because he thinks he's doing the right thing.  
  
He even thanked the heavens for giving him a drama that can distract him from his problems. He now rarely meets his bandmates because of his hecting filming schedule. When he gets home after a tiring shoot, the members are either sleeping soundly or up too early for a morning jog. Changsub falls on the first category and Sungjae doesn't know if he should be grateful because of that or not.  
  
He chose to be thankful though, because that's what should he feel, right?  
  
How wrong he was, he didn't know until something unpleasant happened while he's on the set of Goblin.  
  
It's just 7:00pm and they will start filming his sequence later at 9:00 pm. Why did he arrive so early? _Oh, maybe because you're trying to avoid someone._ Dammit. There are still two hours to kill. What should he do? He's starting to get bored, so he takes out his phone and tried to play some game. After a few minutes of playing, he still is bored. He softly throws his phone on the vanity table in front him when he suddenly heard it ring. There's an incoming call.  
  
"Who's calling me now?"  
  
He looks at the caller ID and he almost drops his phone when he saw who the caller is.  
  
_Lee Changsub._  
  
He never felt this nervous before. Not even when the first filming of Goblin happened. His hands are shaking. Will he accept the call? Will he ignore Changsub? Should he just kill himself? Fuck. Why is this even happening to him? He just wanted a peaceful night without him feeling bad about anything.  
  
But he kind of misses Changsub right now. Maybe a call wouldn't hurt, right?  
  
He slides his finger on the screen to accept the call.  
  
"Sungjae!" He heard the older's familiar cheery voice. His heart swelled with merriment. "I thought you will not answer me. Ha! I guess you really can't resist me."  
  
_Fuck yeah, you're right._  
  
"Hi hyung," he tried to sound as if he's busy and he's such in a rush. "Why did you call? I'm about to film my scenes now."  
  
He's such a rotten excuse of a human being.  
  
"Really? Oh my god I'm sorry. Am I disturbing you now?" he heard Changsub's remorseful voice on the other line. "I just called because... I miss you haha I'm all alone in the dorm now, feeling slightly lonely and... I kinda thought of you."  
  
Sungjae felt really, really bad right now. He felt his chest tightened and suddenly it's harder to breathe. Why is Changsub doing this to him? He wants to cry because his heart feels like it's ripping itself apart and then everything hurts now.  
  
"Hyung you're just sleep deprived." He jokes. He fucking decided to tell a joke at this moment. He cleared his throat. "But honestly, I'm also getting bored here."  
  
He doesn't know what he's even doing.  
  
"Oh, you want me to come and play with you there?" Changsub's eagerness caught him off guard. "I'm bored, too and I have nothing to do! I'll accompany you there! Tell me where you are and I'll be there in five minutes!"  
  
Sungjae thinks he just heard his heart plummeted to the ground. He wants to see and play with Changsub right now, too. It seems like his yearning for the older's presence are getting richer and fiercer each passing minute. But he can't do that now, can he? If he allow Changsub to come here and be with him, all of his efforts in avoiding him will be reduced to nothing. His struggles will all go to waste. He must solve his problems first before he can face Changsub again.  
  
"No, you can't!" He said rather harshly. He winced at the pain he felt in his chest. "Just stay there in the dorm, hyung. You have nothing to do here."  
  
He bites his lips at the silence of the other line. Did Changsub ended the call already? He checked his phone screen. The call is still connected.  
  
He pretends that the director is already calling him.  
  
"Hyung, I got to go." he said hurriedly, still faking his actions. "The director is calling me already."  
  
A few seconds of nothing and then he finally hears Changsub speak again, but this time his voice sounds so cold and distant that it doesn't sound like his Changsub hyung at all.  
  
"Okay. But before you go, Sungjae..." The older's cold voice pierces through his heart like a sharp knife. "You can tell me if I did something wrong to you. Tell me if I made you upset or angry or something and I'll apologize to you properly. Just... don't treat me like you don't want to see me and that I don't exist at all. Enjoy filming. Goodbye."  
  
"C-Changsub hyuㅡ"  
  
The line was cut off before he could finish his sentence. He angrily throws his phone away to the vanity table again, hearing a few sets of brush falling on the ground. He can't breathe properly. His heart feels like it's burning and it hurts so much. His stomach is churning in distress. He rubbed his hands on his face aggressively while wiping useless and angry tears away from his eyes.  
  
_I didn't mean to make Changsub feel that way._  
  
_But that's what you get from doing all those things to him. You actually wanted this to happen._  
  
_No, no. I'm sorry. Changsub hyung, I'm sorry._  
  
Let's just say that Sungjae didn't do well on his scenes that night and the director might have scolded him a few times. He deserved it all, he thought.  
  
He decided to apologize and explain everything to Changsub when he gets home. He will make up for everything that he had done and he promised to himself that he will never make Changsub feel that way again.  
  
Well, except that that's easier said than done, because Changsub is the one who's avoiding him now.  
  
Maybe, Sungjae should've seen this coming. Maybe he shouldn't be surprised at all.  
  
After all, what goes around, comes around.  
  
Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to try making a changjae one-shot because I can never do one-shots. It always turns into multi-chapters and I guess this work is an example of that haha. But I'm trying my best to make this a two-shot so I can feel happy about myself lololol. Do some scenes look familiar to y'all? Hahaha. I don't even know what I'm doing but I hope y'all will like this. Thank you for reading and see you on the next chapter!


	2. CHAPTER TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> help this got way too long again lmao

Sungjae's attempt on apologizing to Changsub is getting harder and harder each passing day. The older is so keen on not letting them be alone in the same room. Changsub also has an amazing talent in isolating himself away from the world. Sometimes he listens to music with his blaring headphones, sometimes he's making himself busy by playing games on his phone, but most of his time is spent with sleeping and Sungjae swears to himself that his chance of talking to Changsub is like him catching air with his bare hands. His frantic schedules aren't helping him either. He couldn't even sleep straight for a couple of hours because his timetable is so packed that his schedules are already overlapping with one another. He even barely has a schedule together with Changsub but when he does, the older just completely ignores him and it's making him aggravated more than anything.  
  
There's also that one time when he managed to have the same schedule with Changsub. He immediately bought a box of donuts and a cold cup of his favorite Americano for a poor excuse of peace offering but Changsub just raised an eyebrow at him, looked at Sungjae with the most disinterested face he has ever seen, and just flatly told him that he was on a diet, and then left him all alone with his slumped shoulders and an aching heart.  
  
It's been weeks now since the phone call happened and Sungjae is seriously losing hope.  
  
It's a gloomy sunday afternoon and BTOB doesn't have any schedules today so they're all in their respective dorms taking advantage of the rare situation. Sungjae is quite busy trying to make up plans on how he's gonna win Changsub's hard-to-please heart inside his head. He's intently and carefully observing the older who's sitting on the side of the couch opposite to him while watching the current episode of Running Man. Changsub is laughing silently to himself and Sungjae instantly melts on the spot. He throws away all of the red flags inside his head and just decided to scoot closer to Changsub until they're atleast one foot apart.  
  
He waits for a violent reaction from the other but the closest thing he got is a sideway glance and nothing more. He releases a deep breath and bites his bottom lip, praying that Changsub won't reject him today. He tries to scoot a little more closer until their shoulders and thighs are finally touching. Sungjae feels his breath hitch for a quick second due to the close contact. He swear he felt something static flowing through his veins just now. He sits back as he glances at Changsub to check his reaction, but the older remains unfazed and uncomfortably quiet.  
  
_What exactly are you thinking, Changsub hyung?_  
  
Sungjae sighs to himself as he slowly wraps his arms around Changsub's torso from the back, imprisoning his tiny frame with his sturdy arms. The guy in his arms visibly tenses, probably from the shock, but still continues to not give him any response. But Sungjae is just relieved about the fact that Changsub isn't pushing him away. He then carefully places his chin on the older's shoulder, making their cheeks rub against each other. He closes his eyes as he feels the comforting warmth that Changsub is providing. His shaking nerves are finally starting to relax.  
  
"Hyung, can we please talk?" He whispers softly as he tightens his arms around the older, not wanting to break the mood. "Let's fix this misunderstanding please, hmm Changsub hyung? I can't stand not talking to you for so long."  
  
He senses that the older is comtemplating on what to say or do and it's slightly keeping him on the edge. He stays still and patiently waits for Changsub's answer. After a couple of minutes, the older picks up the remote control and turned off the television. The abrupt silence quickly vanishes when he hears Changsub's loud release of a deep breath. He feels the other finally relaxed against his hold and Sungjae suddenly feels so alive again.  
  
"O-okay," Changsub leans against Sungjae's chest as he starts to bite the inside of his cheeks. "Fine. Let's settle this thing. I'm getting tired of being upset anyway. But I'm still mad at you, Yook Sungjae." The older slaps his thigh quite forcefully, making him wince at the pain. "Tell me honestly, what is your problem with me?"  
  
Sungjae promises to himself that after this confrontation, Changsub and him will go back to normal again. That's his only goal for today and he will not fuck it up.  
  
"I'm sorry, hyung. I really do." He sincerely apologized with voice full of guilt. "It's not about you. It's all my fault. I was being stupid and I didn't think about how you would feel. Sorry, Changsub hyung. I'll never do that again."  
  
"I still don't understand." Changsub states softly while tapping his fingers against Sungjae's left arm. "So, you did not let me visit you to the set of Goblin to accompany you because?"  
  
He sighs in frustration as he buries his face on the crook of Changsub's neck and childishly whines about how explaining everything is so hard because he's not good with words and he's afraid that he might make the older mad again if he doesn't explain everything properly and it's seriously driving him insane. Changsub just snorts at him while clucking his tongue.  
  
"I can't forgive you if you won't explain everything to me, Sungjae." The older nudges him softly. "Come on, did I do anything wrong? Did I annoy you somehow?"  
  
"No, no, hyung." Sungjae is quick to clarify, head shaking in disagreement. "You didn't do anything. I just t-thought that if you visit me while filming, I'll be... uncomfortable."  
  
"What?" Changsub lets out an incredulous laugh, eyebrows raising rather comically. "You'll feel uncomfortable? Why?"  
  
Changsub tries to escape from Sungjae's hug to look at him properly but the younger didn't let him. Sungjae hugs the other man tighter, if that is still possible. Changsub just settles himself by looking at Sungjae's head which is buried on the side of his neck.  
  
"Be honest with me Sungjae," Changsub's serious tone makes Sungjae's frame tensed. "Are you ashamed that I'm your friend?"  
  
Sungjae raises his head quickly. His eyes widens at the older's question.  
  
"What? No! Of course not!" Sungjae protests, brows furrowing in the process because, what the hell? "Now, where did that come from?"  
  
Sungjae watches how Changsub's serious expression turns into a dejected one. He feels a pang in his chest because it truly hurts him when the older becomes sad and he's the reason behind it.  
  
"I thought that maybe the reason you didn't want me visiting you is because you don't want to associate yourself with me." Changsub hangs his head low while biting his lips, fingers playing on his lap. "I mean, you're with the biggest actors in the industry and it might be a shame to introduce someone like me as your friend, you know? I'll probably feel the same wayㅡ"  
  
Sungjae's heart drops as he hear every word that the older is muttering. Why is Changsub thinking that way? That's very impossible. He will never be ashamed that he knows someone like Changsub. Never ever.  
  
"Hyung, stop." He carefully removes his arms that are wounded around the older's frame to look at Changsub directly in the eyes. "Why would I be ashamed that you're my friend when... you're actually my favorite person in the world?"  
  
His last sentence came out as a mumble but he still stared gently at Changsub's eyes. He wants to look sincere so that the older would believe him. Changsub's cheeks flushes a light hue of pink as he tries to look back at Sungjae but fails completely because he can't stand the younger's intense stare. The older slaps his thigh softly instead.  
  
"T-then why did you do that?" Changsub begins to pout unknowingly. "I was just thinking of you. _Ah Sungjae is bored! I don't want him to feel lonely!_  And then you'll tell me that I'm making you uncomfortable? That I can't go because I've got nothing to do there? That makes no sense."  
  
He agrees. He made zero sense that time doing his stint which he believed is the right thing to do and look what it brought to him; another fucking problem to add to his previous piles of unsolved problems.  
  
"If you really came and then I film my scenes, it's now you who's going to be alone." Sungjae replies as his fingers play with the hem of his shirt. "I won't be able to take care of you because I'll be busy shooting my scenes. And I'm sure I'll forget my lines if you're there. You'll distract me just for being there, you know? I'll keep on wanting to be with you as quickly as possible."  
  
"Y-you're exaggerating."  
  
"What, it's the truth!"  
  
They are both a blushing mess and if anyone will walk in on them right now, they will immediately feel the tension in the air. Sungjae wants to end their conversation already and just get back to cuddling with Changsub but he still has one thing to admit to the older so that the weight in his chest can finally disappear.  
  
"Hyung, there's one more thing that I need to tell you." He avoids Changsub's questioning eyes because he suddenly feels shy. He braces himself, hoping he will not mess this up. "T-There's a reason why I avoided you for the last couple of weeks."  
  
"Okay... and that is?" Changsub gently coaxes him.  
  
He swallowed an invisible lump in his throat. God help him.  
  
"I, hyung... Lately, I started feeling something crazy inside me." Sungjae nervously begins, eyes darting back and forth to Changsub's brown orbs and his own fidgeting hands on his lap. "Sometimes it's making me lose control over myself. I can't help it and I wish I knew what better things I should've done about this but instead I avoided you."  
  
Sungjae's heart skips a beat when Changsub's hand clasps over his own trembling ones. He quickly looks away to hide his crimson colored cheeks.  
  
"It's okay, Sungjae." Changsub assures him, voice laced with pure understanding. "You can tell me about it."  
  
He bites his lips so hard, gathering courage to finally spill his deepest secrets to none other than the very person who causes it. He takes a deep breath, and then he finally lets it all go.  
  
"I feel like I'm becoming unreasonable because I get irritated easily when I see you hug and kiss other people except... me." He purses his lips in an adorable pout while rubbing the back of his neck timidly. "Sometimes I get this feeling that I don't want to share you with others because... I don't know, hyung. What if you'll choose them over me? W-What if they're actually a better companion than me and you'll realize that all I ever do is just annoy and piss you off and then leave me alone after that?"  
  
He anxiously waits for Changsub to absorb his confession and say something about it. His eyes are still fixated on the older's hand covering his own, afraid to raise his gaze because he might see the displeasure on the other's face. He won't be able to handle it if that happens.  
  
"Sungjae," Changsub calls his name gently as he lifts his chin so he can look at him properly. "Did you just assume that I'm the kind of guy that will leave you if I meet a new friend? I'll never do that to you. You're special to me."  
  
Butterflies start wrecking havoc inside his stomach and Sungjae feels like he will suddenly evaporate any time. The fluttering feeling in his heart is back, and it came back stronger than ever.  
  
"N-No," He quickly glances down again. "I'm sorryㅡ"  
  
"And why don't you want to share me?" Changsub lets out a laugh, disbelief is in its tone. "Are you jealous of those people I came in contact with?"  
  
"Yes." He quickly answers breathlessly. The admition comes out of his mouth rather naturally, like it's the only plausible reason why he's feeling that way. "I get jealous easily and I think it's a bad thing because they're your friends and they're absolutely doing nothing wrong. It's just me being petty when I want to have all of your attention to myself."  
  
"Wow, o-okay. That's n-nice."  
  
He finally decided to lift up his head again to look at Changsub's reaction and boy, he's surprised to see the older looking back at him with an astonished gaze. He breathes out a sigh of relief. He's glad that Changsub isn't freaked out or angry at the slightest. If he can be a little more assuming, he might say that the older looks quite pleased.  
  
But he still isn't satisfied with the older's short and ambiguous response.  
  
"H-Hey," Sungjae shyly nudges the older as he bumps their shoulders together. "Say something more."  
  
"I, uhm..." Changsub clears his throat. "Forgive me for asking but... do you have f-feelings for me?"  
  
Sungjae chokes on his saliva at the older's sudden question. His heart feels like it wants to jump out of his ribcage. He straightaway nodded vigorously upon feeling the fast beating of his heart.  
  
"Yes, hyung."  
  
"Wow, okay. Uhm... So..."  
  
Sungjae wants to laugh because Changsub is obviously flustered at his straight forwardness. He realized that he likes making the older flustered and tongue-tied.  
  
"So," Changsub succeeds in his attempt to find his focus again. "Have you figured out what exactly do you feel for me?"  
  
Sungjae tilted his head to the right, forehead knotting in the process. He hasn't thought about that well. Sure, he knows he feel something for the older, because him being jealous is a huge sign, plus the fast beating of his heart whenever Changsub is by his side. He's also certain that Changsub's owns a special place in his heart. It's never hard to admit his feelings towards his hyung, but to actually be specific about it, he hasn't reach that point yet. Those feelings are still nameless yet assured, unknown yet undeniable.  
  
He shakes his head, clearly not having a firm answer to the older's question.  
  
"I see..." Changsub pauses for a while, and then nods his head as if he had an internal agreement with himself. "You figure out your feelings first, okay?"  
  
Sungjae nodded slowly.  
  
"And then I'll figure mine as well." Changsub gave him a soft smile. "We'll figure it out together, okay?"  
  
"Okaㅡ wait, hold on!" His eyes got larger as Changsub's words eventually sinks in. "You have feelings for me, too? This isn't actually one sided? Changsub hyung?"  
  
He's shaking the older intensely because he's not expecting Changsub to actually admit that he has feelings for him too. He thought that he's the only one who feels something but no, it's actually mutual! He feels like floating on cloud nine right now.  
  
"Stop shaking meㅡ Yah!" Changsub lets out a hearty laugh when Sungjae pulls him back to his arms and squeezed all the life inside of him. He hugs the younger back. "Of course I have feelings for you too. Isn't it obvious? You're so densed."  
  
Sungjae leans back to look at the older as a stupid wide grin starts to break on his face. He really feels overjoyed at how their situation has ended. Who would've thought that the heavens will favor his side today? He watched earnestly as Changsub tries to match his grin with his beautiful crinkling eyes and his sweet bashful smile, his little dimple on the left side of his lower lips appearing in the process.  
  
That's the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in his life and he intends to see that smile everyday from now on.  
  
"Finally, are you two done talking?"  
  
Hyunsik waltzes out of his room looking impatient. They release each other's hold as they try to straighten their clothes. Changsub answered with a small yes, because even if he's the hyung among the three of them, Hyunsik is and will still be the superior guy in this dorm. That's the unspoken rule in their group that no one seems to disagree with. Everyone values their life so much to actually attempt to break that certain rule.  
  
"Good. Now go and continue making out in your room." Hyunsik pushes the two away from the couch and opens the television again. "I've been wanting to watch a movie since lunch but the two of you are being a nuisance."  
  
"S-Sorry hyuㅡ"  
  
"We're not making outㅡ"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now go away."

  
***

Them figuring out their feelings together is actually the best decision they have ever made. Their small dates in Changsub's favorite cafe whenever they have a free time, their playful bickering that will eventually turn out into tangled limbs and swollen lips, the comfortable silence whenever they sit together and just lean against each other, the excessive skinship that makes their bandmates cringe, and the feeling of their intertwined fingers that seems to be the perfect fit for each other, beautiful moments like these are what Sungjae holds dearly in his heart. They're just simple moments and yet it makes him extremely happy and contented because he's doing all of these with Changsub.  
  
But those happy and eventful moments are promptly cut off with the news of Changsub having to have and promote his solo album in Japan for a month. They're both cool about it at first, Sungjae even congratulated him and wished him goodluck. He was so happy for the older making his dreams come true and getting the recognition he deserves. _It's just a month anyway_ , he remembered saying those words lightly, never knowing the shortcomings he has to suffer because of that.  
  
On the day of Changsub's flight, they promised to give each other a call whenever they have free time. Sungjae decided to not escort Changsub to the airport because he might just not let the other go, or worse, he might buy a plane ticket to Japan impulsively to follow the older. They kissed goodbye that day with a thousand words worth of future promises and unspoken feelings. Changsub called Sungjae immediately after he had settled himself in Japan. They spoke for nearly three hours, saying indefinite amounts of take cares and I miss yous and come back quicklys until they both fell asleep that night.  
  
It's been almost a month since Changsub started his promotions in Japan and Sungjae couldn't keep his frustrations any longer. The promised calls which are the only thing he's holding on to quickly went to everyday to weekly to once a week and then to nothing at all. They've both been busy as hell, working their asses off until they break. They settled for messaging each other on Kakaotalk eventhough the replies might arrive a day later. They both consoled each other during those times, saying one week to go and we're together again, I can't wait to see you, and wait for me.  
  
Sungjae isn't satisfied with calls and chats anymore. He needs to see Changsub, needs to touch him and hold him and never let him go. Each passing day feels like forever and it's making him lose his mind completely. He has never felt so empty like this before.

_Changsub hyung ㅠㅠ_

_Don't be sad, I'll finally come home the next, next day! I'm so excited to see you again!_

_Me too. But I still miss you._

_Hahaha really?_

_Yes. I want to see you so bad ㅠㅠ_

_If you're that impatient then come here lol_

_Can I?_

_I'm just kidding, Sungjae._  
  
_Just two more days._  
  
_See you soon!_  
  
Sungjae reads their recent conversation again and again as he keeps on tossing and turning on his bed. Actually, he's been thinking about going to Japan to see Changsub and be there during his last day of promotions. But the older keeps on reminding him that It'll only be two days and he'll just waste money if he pursue his plan because they'll have to go back to South Korea immediately. It'll never be a waste if it's because of Changsub though, Sungjae thought. Dammit, he just really wants to be with the other as soon as possible! How can he still wait for two days?  
  
But in the end, he decided to just wait a little bit more. He has waited for almost twenty-eight days, what even are two days, right?  
  
Sungjae's musings got interrupted when he receives a chat notification on Kakaotalk. He couldn't help but smile when he saw that it came from Changsub.

 _Too many people came to the fanmeet. I'm happy but I'm also tired. I wish you're here, Sungjae._  
  
_And I miss you so much :'(_

Sungjae quickly stands up from his bed and hurriedly dials his manager's number to make a call. Because fuck everything. Fuck two more days.  
  
He's going to Japan.  
  
Now.

***

Sungjae slurps his newly cooked ramen loudly as he waits for Changsub to come inside the waiting room. The older should probably arrive any minute now. He shrugs off all the surprised stares their staffs are giving him. Well, he really can't blame them if they're shock that he's here in Japan, inside Changsub's waiting room, and eating ramen like it's no big deal. Only Daegyeom, their other manager who's here with Changsub, had the courage to ask him what he's doing here when in fact, they will already all go home tomorrow. He simply states that he couldn't wait and continues on slurping the hot noodle in front of him.  
  
"Good morning everyone!"  
  
He beams as he heard Changsub's cheery voice. _He's here!_ He drinks in the appearance of the older; dirty blond hair, pink bomber jacket, faded ripped jeans, beautiful twinkling eyes, full cheeks, red round pouty lips, to simply put it, Changsub looks breath taking. He lets out a hearty laugh when one of their staffs points at his direction and Changsub gasps loudly as he became wide-eyed and stunned for a moment.  
  
_Surprise, baby._  
  
"Yook Sungjae!" Changsub runs his way to him quickly and leans on the table to look at him in the eye. "What are you doing here?"  
  
_I fucking missed you._  
  
"Of course," Sungjae raises the bowl of hot ramen. "I came here to eat!"  
  
The staffs around them roared in laughter at Sungjae's joke. They must be thinking, ah it's been a while since they last saw them bicker, but he knows Changsub knew better. The way Sungjae looks at the older with so much longing in his eyes, the lingering touch he made when he held Changsub's hand, the unnoticeable tears that are quickly pooling in his eyes, all of those subtle things are never gone unrecognized by the older.  
  
"Sungjae came here to eat!" Changsub announces, eyes smiling directly at Sungjae with equal longing. "Everybody clap your hands!"  
  
A round of applause was given as the people around them enjoy the fake bickering they're witnessing. Amidst the loud and messy surrounding, two people have their eyes locked in each other's fervent gaze, finding peace on the fact that they're face to face again, no sea separating them anymore, and that the wait is finally over.  
  
Sungjae's enjoying himself while he's watching Changsub's showcase in silent. He's sitting at the back of the mini theater unbeknownst to all the Melodies who are there watching. He basks in the feeling of Changsub's honey-like singing voice filling the whole room. He claps at every ending of a performance, he laughs at his every silly face, every accidental funny things he's saying and honestly, Sungjae wouldn't mind watching Changsub doing anything even if it takes several days. He would never get tired of the older's quirky personality. Never.  
  
But like every other shows, there will come a time that it will have to end. Changsub happily delivers his ending ment and bids his good bye to all the melodies who are in here. Sungjae stands up and hurries himself to go to the backstage and gave the other a congratulatory hug. He stayed by the older's side throughout the entire time.  
  
Changsub thanks every staff and crew that are involved in the production of his one month promotion. He also gives a special thanks to Aki, their japanese translator and mc whenever they promote in Japan, for working hard and guiding him. The team decided to have a barbeque party to celebrate the success of Changsub's album. It's almost 10:00 pm when everybody agreed to call it a day. Afterall, they have a flight to catch early in the morning.  
  
Changsub opens the door to his own hotel room and Sungjae quietly lets himself in.  
  
"Ah, I'm so fullㅡ hmmp"  
  
Sungjae doesn't waste anytime and just grabs the older's frame and slams him on the nearest wall. Changsub lets out a surprised gasp when Sungjae crashes their lips together in a hot and fiery kiss, letting all of his pent up frustrations take the lead. The kiss is nowhere near innocent as mouths seek each other's familiar taste. Changsub kisses him back with the same intensity, fingers finding itself tangled on the younger's hair, tugging it hard.  
  
"I've been wanting to do this since I saw you this morning," Sungjae's hands went up to cup Changsub's jaw as he makes their bodies flushed against one another, loving the way how their frames fit perfectly together. "I've waited for so long."  
  
"Then shut up and kiss me again."  
  
Changsub pulls Sungjae's face towards him as they lock their mouths again, can't seem to get enough of each other's intoxicating taste. Sungjae licks the older's luscious plump lips, asking permission to let his tongue in, wanting to savor Changsub's sweet cavern, which the older gladly accepts. Tongues meet feverishly, dancing in a silent battle of dominance in which Sungjae clearly won. He devours Changsub's mouth, taking his pleasure in sucking and exploring while the older's other hand finds its way to the back of his neck.  
  
"B-bed..."  
  
"Gladly."  
  
Changsub groans as Sungjae lifts him up by his thighs, legs quickly wrapping around the younger's hips as they made their way towards the huge bed while their lips are still connected in a sloppy kiss. Sungjae gently drops Changsub on the soft mattress as he slowly makes his way on top of the older's body. He places his hands on both side of Changsub's head as he stares at the older down with so much adoration in his eyes.  
  
"I've figured it out."  
  
"What?" Changsub gives him a confused look as hands cup the younger's face in a loving manner.  
  
"My feelings." Sungjae said breathlessly as he dips down and kisses the corner of Changsub's mouth. "I've figured it out already."  
  
"Oh yeah?" Changsub gives him a lopsided grin, already knowing the answer before it even escapes the younger's lips. "Tell me about it."  
  
Sungjae stares at the older's soft brown orbs, giving him the sincerest smile he can muster as he brushes away some hair that are covering the older's eyes.  
  
"I love you, Changsub hyung." Sungjae begins, panting hard as he confess his feelings. "So much. So fucking much that my heart will explode with so much love I feel for you. You never know how much I always wanted to be by your side, how much you make me happy, how much I want my future to be with you. I love you."  
  
Sungjae watches as Changsub's eyes starts pooling with happy tears as he lets out a hearty laugh. The older's arms wrap around his neck and pulls him down to hug him tight. Sungjae can feel the fast beating of Changsub's heart against his chest, or is it his own heart beat? He isn't sure anymore.  
  
"I've also figured out my feelings ." He hears Changsub whisper against his ear. "I love you too, Sungjae. I also always want to be with you. I'm happy when you're happy, I'm devastated when you're sad. There are so many people out there who are more worthy than me so I'm thankful that you decided to give your love to me. I'll love you with all the love I have in me."  
  
"You're worth it, Changsub hyung."  
  
Sungjae pushes himself up to look at the most beautiful person in his life. They give each other stupid goofy grins, emotions are on top of the roof at the moment. They kiss again, full of giggles and promises as they seal the deal.  
  
It's official. They're together now.  
  
They just stayed like that, hugging each other tightly in the middle of the night. The comforting silence is enveloping them as they listen to the faint beating of their hearts. Sungjae thinks he has found his favorite sound tonight.

***

"Now we'll have to wait for another two hours because of the two of you! Argh! I wanna go home!"  
  
The two wince at the loud voice of Daegyeom as he reprimands the both them for sleeping so late that resulted to them missing their scheduled flight that morning. They make their way to their seats, having no choice but to wait for the next plane to South Korea to arrive in the next couple of hours.  
  
"This is your fault." Changsub accuses him, voice low enough for the two of them to hear. "We're late because you can't keep your hands to yourself! "  
  
"What, you enjoyed it! Don't deny!" Sungjae argues back. "You told me to keep going! You even keep on demanding me to not stop!"  
  
"S-shut up!"  
  
"And now you're blushing. See, you really liked it."  
  
"Motherfucking son of a bitch, I told you to shut up!"  
  
"When will the two of you stop fighting?!" They both jolt on their seats when Daegyeom yells back at them. "Changsub watch your mouth! Sungjae stop provoking Changsub! I swear, the two of you will be the death of me one day!"  
  
They both giggle at their manager's sudden outburst and let's just say that the four hour flight back to South Korea has been nothing but a pure torture because Daegyeom decided to separate their seats so that they can't bicker again. If only their manager knew what were they fighting about.  
  
Sungjae decides that he will get back at Changsub once they get back home.  
  
_Ready yourself, baby._

-END-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this almost become a three shot omg lmao. but yehey to me because i finally made a changjae two-shot!! thank you for everyone who waited for this update! and thank you all so much for reading! let's always support btob! ♥


End file.
